Olivia, Grayson and Teigan are 10, 5, and 1 years old. Being outnumbered by your kids is no joke. With three kids it’s a constant struggle to meet all their needs. There are times when one child is crying while the other 2 are fighting or wanting my attention and it’s just a matter of choosing who needs me the most at that time. This is definitely not how I envisioned motherhood to be like.
Table of Contents
Lesson 1: Motherhood Never Repeats Itself
With one child I could still do a lot of the things I did before becoming a mom. With two it became harder. Not only was it harder but I inherited a co-parent that wants to be a part of everything! From playtime to potty training and discipline – oi! With three kids the mom guilt really started setting in. I now have 2 underaged co-parents and my youngest barely gets my undivided attention. The other day I bought her a potty and she was so excited but in swooped the little co-parents advising her what to [not] do. I kind of walked away only to come back to a stressed out toddler standing in a puddle of her own pee. Sometimes, I can use their helicopter parenting to my advantage but sometimes I long for one-on-one time. These days, it’s all or none. It’s exhausting!
Lesson 2: No Such Thing as Balance
With my oldest daughter, I felt like I was winning at this thing called motherhood. With 3 kids balance takes a backseat. You are catapulted into being wherever you NEED to be at the moment and doing the best that you can. Often times, I wake up with the intention to do my best and before I close my eyes I pray that it was enough. I struggle with mom guilt and whether I am being a ‘good’ mom. Working full time and now having to work partially from home magnifies the mom guilt. If I want to get work done I need to ignore my kids and same vice-versa. I have come to realize that things won’t ever be balanced. My house may not get cleaned some days because I want to take the kids to the park. Other days my kids may miss a bath because I am trying to get some work done. I know now that balance is non-existent so when they have my attention I try to make it count.
Lesson 3: Your Tribe Makes the Difference
I use to love when my sister lived in the same neighborhood as us. I mean she would just show up (it’s a twinning thing, lol) when I needed her most. Floyd was away at work for a good portion of the year when I had Olivia and it was hard sometimes. But, my sister would come over and help me. She was definitely my support and cheer captain of my hype squad.
I remember trying to do this Super Nanny independent sleeping thing with Olivia and let me tell you, if it wasn’t for my sister I would have quit the first 60 seconds. The first night was brutal but my sister and I texted the whole time till Olivia finally fell asleep. We did that for a whole week. It eventually worked where she was sleeping in her crib but I didn’t repeat that method with Grayson or Teigan.
Days when we were going out she would show up at my house once she was ready and help me get my tribe ready. It was everything! Date nights with my husband were made possible thanks to my mom and sister who didn’t mind watching all three of my kids at the same time – free of charge! Mamas, talk to your family, talk to your mommy friends – lean on them. Don’t assume they know you need help and keep your mouth shut. After all, a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
Lesson 4: Your Identity is Easily Lost
Becoming a mommy was such an easy transition. Being Catt on the other hand, takes a little more effort. I am constantly struggling to find time for ME. I try my best to wake up an hour before everyone else does to enjoy a cup of hot tea to myself without sharing as I read the word, budget or meal plan. Sometimes, I use this time to work out or even blog. Sometimes, I treat myself to a blowout and just like that I feel like Catt is back! Date nights with my husband when I get to dress up are always sweet although 10pm is as late as I can hang without feeling like I’m about to knock out (ZZzzz…). I am happier when I do these things and as a result my kids get a better version of ME. Mamas, it truly is important to not lose yourself in the motherhood journey.
What are some lessons you learned in motherhood?
I would love to hear the lessons you’ve learned in motherhood. Most importantly, how are you holding on to YOU [insert your name here]?
With Love From Catt ~XO
