5 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress

Hey mama, can you believe that 2021 is almost over? Gah, me neither!  We are officially at the threshold of the holiday season that commences with all things pumpkins, turkeys and ends with the unwrapping of presents. In its most simplest form the holidays make me smile. But, the holidays weren’t always simple, they were filled with traditions and many of them didn’t bring me joy. My schedule became jam packed with activities I thought would make the holidays magical for my kids and my budget stretched uncomfortably thin. I would get so swept away in the tidal wave of more – do more, buy more, give more.  The most wonderful time of year was usually the most stressful time of year. I secretly dreaded doing #allthethings holiday season. Each year convincing myself that it’s all for the kids but no, no –  the holidays are about family and that includes – ME! Are you feeling similar? It’s time to do away with holiday stress and bring back the joy of the holiday season. I’m sharing my top 5 ways to reduce holiday stress…these are absolute game changers! But first let’s talk about the big business of Christmas…

What Christmas Has Become

All the holidays have become businesses but Christmas is the biggest. It has been turned into a HUGE 750 billion dollar business! That’s right, Christmas is bringing in the money and it is doing it at the expense of many people’s financial stability and emotional well-being.

I think the reason this is possible is because of fear. Yes, impulsive buys and wanting all the latest things is due to fear of missing out – hello, FOMO! Then there is mom guilt and dad guilt – not trying to exclude dads because they feel it too. As parents we fear our kids are missing out and therefore we are not doing a good  job and in sets the guilt. Parents will over compensate by buying more, doing more and giving more – even if they really shouldn’t because it is causing them financial ruin and stress. It’s even harder for working parents because they also feel guilty for working and being away from their kids. They often compensate by buying a crap load of presents. But, that is so wrong! We shouldn’t feel guilty for working to provide food and shelter for our kids. Buying a crap load of gifts isn’t necessary and sets a precedent that adds more pressure to meet or exceed the next year. It creates this hampster wheel of working more to get out of debt and that equates spending more time away from our family. That just isn’t what the holidays are about. Most importantly that isn’t healthy. If this is you then it’s time to get off the hamspter wheel and reevaluate your priorities. If you want to get back to the point of the holiday season but not exactly sure where to start, I have some really easy ideas to reduce stress and bring back some joy.

Don’t be Afraid to Let Traditions Go

We often hold on to traditions because they are something we have always done. Even if it doesn’t serve us anymore – we keep doing them. It’s okay to let traditions go or at least change them up a bit. Don’t be afraid to be the first person to have a new idea and say, “Let’s do this instead”. It might even surprise you how relatives and people outside your immediate family are receptive to the new idea.

Last year Thanksgiving was different for us due to the pandemic and – we loved it! It gave us an opportunity to break away from a tradition that wasn’t serving us anymore. When it was just me and my husband and our daughter it made sense to go to my parents for Thankgiving dinner.  But now there is five of us and that’s a lot. The pandemic allowed us to discovered something new. We had Thanksgiving dinner at home and it was so light and fun.  We were all cooking together and an impromtu dance party in the kitchen.  There wasn’t a set time for dinner and most the day we were hanging out in our PJs. I did a craft with the kids and we just had fun. Afterwards, we watched some specials on TV, ate dessert and got ready for bed. Very low key, low stress and we made so many fun memories. This year we are doing dinner at our house but we’ll stop by my parents for a dessert exchange. This way my parents won’t have to stress over preparing a big dinner and they can still get to see us. The kids will be comfortable and I won’t have to deal with them getting restless at the dinner table waiting for dinner to be served. It’s a win-win.

Keep it Simple

We all want to give our kids magical holiday memories but sometimes we go way too far and make oursleves miserable in the process. If elaborate holidays aren’t your thing and it stresses you – don’t do it! If elaborate holidays are your thing and it brings you joy – then keep it up! This one is for those who are stressed because they are spending beyond their budget, packing in way too many activities and just overly busy. It doesn’t matter if you somehow manage to pull off a Pinterest perfect holiday. If you are stressing to pull it off, chances are your kids are feeling it. The holiday season should be wonderful and a little magical for everyone so feel free to let go the traditions that stress you out. At the very least, simplify them.

For Christmas we have several things that my kids love and quite honestly they don’t take much to pull off. One thing we all look forward to is driving to  Bright Nights a Christmas light drive thru. Before we go we always get hot cocoa to keep us warm as we drive with the windows down to see the lights. It’s so simple and yet my kids look forward to doing it every year. The best part is that it isn’t expensive and we all love it. I remember the year we discovered Dunkin Donuts had flavored hot cocoa. We felt like we hit the jack pot, lol.

If you have a simple tradition that you all love and look forward to doing then focus on that and let go of the ones that stress you out. Don’t forfeit the traditions you love for ones that you feel obligated to do. The holidays are about family and fun – have fun!

Say No to the Extra Stuff

It’s okay to say no to the things that don’t bring you joy. Around this time of year there are so many things happening like school fundraisers, holiday parties, gift swaps and the list goes on. While I know these things are meant to be fun, sometimes they can feel like too much especially when they impinge on doing the things we love. These things aren’t worth entertaining if they cause you to push aside the family traditions you and your family truly enjoy. But, also if it isn’t within your budget don’t be afraid to say no. That holiday swap that you dread and always stretches your budget far thinner than it should, isn’t worth your joy. Say no to that. So many of us over commit around the holiday season and we enter a season of more, more, more. Only to find ourselves feeling miserable and in debt. We don’t have to get our kids everything they want for Christmas. We don’t have to go into debt to buy gifts to make loved ones feel special. That isn’t what the holidays are about. Eliminate holiday stress by being intentional with your time, traditions and finances.

Ask Yourself,”Why?”

I remember one year I was just feeling so stressed filling my shopping cart with things to give as gifts. Everything I put into the cart I argued would be tossed aside or broken within a few weeks. It was so much money that essentially would be thrown away in the trash.  Maybe I was being a scourge but when I answered the question of why – I was mortified. I wasn’t buying things that brought me joy to give but to make up for the fact that my daughter and bonus daughter spent a year without their father due to work. If I could tell my younger self anything it would be to stop feeling “guilty”. There’s no reason to feel guilty. We were doing the best we could to provide for our kids.

If you find yourself being an undercover scourge as you go through the motions of the holidays then ask yourself, why are you doing what you are doing. Why are you participating in that thing that is making you unhappy? Rather than covering it up, dig deep and then address the real issue.

Do What Makes You Happy

During the holiday season we fill our mental space with unrealistic expectations. We are bombarded with pressure to spend more, give more and do more. We over commit ourselves and it all causes stress. The formula to stop hilday stress is simple. Do less of what you don’t love and more of what brings you joy this holiday season. A stress free or less stressful holiday isn’t about saying no to everything. Eliminating stress isn’t about saying no to everything but saying no to the things that get in our way of enjoying the holiday season.

Best Holiday Wishes

I hope that this post helped you identify those unnecessary things that you can remove from your holiday season.

I wish you and your family a wonderful holiday season filled with all the things you all love doing. You may also like How to Write a Holiday Mission Statement template. It has helped me with identifying the important values and traditions that my family loves. With a holiday mission statement you will get a clear understanding of your non-negotiables and be able to guard them so they are not pushed aside in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.